Over-Prepared

Is there such a thing as too prepared? I've been spending my free moments reading countless birth stories, the latest birth related articles and discussing birth with other like-minded moms in online forums. I'm beginning to worry I'm going to go into birth overload with still about 100 days to go.. not good.

I also bought this cute cabinet for the babies room. I had seen it online and liked it, and thought it was a good price.. then while at Ikea getting Ainsley a new bed (to be featured on the fam blog.. as soon as I take a cute picture) I saw it in the 'as-is' section. It was only there because it had been a floor model, there was nothing wrong with it, and it was more than 25% cheaper.. so I had to snatch it up. I actually went back the next day cuz there was no way it was going to fit in our Tribecca with the bed we bought Ainsley.. plus Tom was with me, and I like to do my crazy purchases solo, lol. So I got someone who worked there to load it onto my cart, and then into my car. The fact that it's a floor model means I don't have to put it together by myself, which is awesome.. but it also means it barely fit, lol. In fact, it's still in our car. Tom's afraid it's too heavy for him.. so anyone who feels like coming over tomorrow Tom could use an extra set of hands. ;)


Anyway.. now that I have this cabinet.. I really want to start pulling out all the baby clothes I packed away and get them cleaned and folded and hung... but I keep reminding myself.. It's FEBRUARY.. I'm not due until mid-JUNE.. I really should pace myself here.. right?? I'm gonna run around and get all this stuff done and then just be sitting on my thumbs for the next couple of months?? Or maybe it would be good to get all this done.. before I'm walking around with a watermelon under my shirt instead of a cantaloupe. I guess I just don't want to get too far ahead of myself..

I'm not even really planning on setting up the nursery properly until after Miss Thang makes her appearance. I'm planning on moving Ainsley down to what is currently the guestroom and putting the baby in her room, and it seems a little silly to move her right away when I'm planning on keeping the baby in our room for at least the first four months.. maybe more. Plus.. I'm keeping the guest bed upstairs for when my awesome mom, and then equally awesome mother in law come stay with us for a week each after she's born to help out.. So it won't really be possible to completely set up a nursery.

I dunno, maybe it's nesting.. I can see the furniture and the clothes.. but is reading constantly about birth really nesting? I have the most overwhelming urge to know more, to read more.. it's becoming an obsession.. I can't stop. Maybe its mental nesting..

So, any opinions.. is getting the clothes ready 100 days before the baby's born a little bit ridiculous? Even just typing it, it sounds ridiculous. Who knows. The baby's kicking.. I think she's saying Hi to you all. :) Thanks for listening.. must go to bed now... after I read a little bit more.

Birth Plans

I am not planning a natural birth because I like pain.. I'm actually a bit of a baby. I have a very low pain threshold. This post is not to influence or offend anyone.. but lately my world has been revolving around this subject.. so I just had to post it.

I'm retaking the birth class I took when I was pregnant with Ainsley. Partly because its been 3 years, and I forget stuff.. and party because I enjoyed it so much the first time through It's a bradley method class, but our teacher also incorporates other things she has learned and found beneficial over the years. I really love the class. It's 12 weeks long, one night a week. This may seem excessive to some, but its so great. One night a week we get to slow down life and focus on this big thing that's about to change our lives forever. I think it really helped Tom to feel more a part of whats going on and to have a better appreciation of what I'm going through.

What do you do for 12 weeks you ask? Well, we learn about how the body works and changes during pregnancy and about nutrition and exercises that work muscles that help to carry the baby and with the delivery. We learn about nursing. We learn about different pressure points that your partner can use to relieve some of the aches and pains throughout pregnancy and during delivery. Different positions that you can try to be more comfortable while pregnant as well as different ways you can try during labor to help work the baby out. We also learn about all the options you have during labor.. what things are your choice, and what things are more just there because of tradition and to make the process easier for the doctor, that you have the right to say no to if you want.

I want to reiterate that I am not anti-medicine, anti-doctor.. I'm not even anti-epidural, I believe that there can come a point where a woman's body has tried and worked until it needs a rest.. and that is a humane and sympathetic use of the epidural.
I'm so grateful that we have these miracles when they are needed. I have a good friend whose body just never goes into labor. She was about 2 weeks late with her first child when her water broke and 20 hours later.. she still never went into labor. She's somebody who would've died in the old west with nothing to be done about it. I'm SO grateful we have the technology to save my dear friend and her adorable little boy.

It just seems that a lot of these advances are used now without real need, and especially without informing people of the possible side effects and risk.. and what possible benefits they could be forgoing.

I just tried to type a list of the things I've learned in class... but I'm so afraid someone will take something that I'm saying the wrong way and become defensive... that I'm having the hardest time writing it. To me its all amazing info that should be out there.. but birth is such a touchy subject.. so I went online and found a nice little list detailing pretty much everything I wanted to say in less emotional and more precise ways.

So ladies.. next time you ask me 'why would you feel pain if you don't have to...' this is my answer

The Benefits of Natural Birth
1. Mothers who labor naturally can move freely, go to the bathroom, walk and change positions throughout labor. According to the Cochrane Review, recent studies have shown that getting medication makes changing positions even after birth more difficult.

2. Since you can feel your body's reflexes in natural childbirth, mothers can push better and generally faster. In fact studies show that getting an epidural prolongs your pushing time.

3. The pain during labor serves a purpose by guiding the mother to seek certain positions. For example, if her back hurts, she will naturally seek positions off her back which can help to turn her baby. Having back pain is one sign that the baby might be posterior and needs to rotate.

4. Mothers often describe that their recovery after a natural childbirth was faster and easier since they could get right up and walk and shower. Usually they eat right away and their appetite is normal.

5. Endorphins secreted during a natural childbirth have been found in the placenta and umbilical cord. This may serve a purpose to help the baby adjust to life outside as well as make the journey more comfortable for baby.

6. Research has shown that in mothers who have natural childbirth, babies are more alert and show more interest in pre-breastfeeding behaviours such as sucking and massaging the mother's breasts, as well as the actual length of time they spend nursing within the first 90 minutes.

There are plenty of other things I could go off about.. but I am too emotional about this and to prevent offending anyone I'll end there. Tho anyone who reads this birth and has other things to add to the list of benefits of a natural birth.. please do. :)

Thanks for listening.. I will strive to not gush overmuch on this subject in the future.. but until June, it will be on my mind a lot. So we'll see, lol. And if anyone wants anymore info or has anymore questions.. I'd love to be of help :)

the wee small hours of the morning

it's 12:30am.. everyone in the house is asleep except for me. I just finished an older movie called '84 Charing Cross Road' about somewhat of a love affair developed through letters that never came to much of anything besides a grand friendship. It's put me in something of a melancholy mood.
At times like these I can't help but think of a song from the 'sleepless in seattle' soundtrack
"when the sun is high in the afternoon sky you can always find something to do
but from dusk til dawn as the clock ticks on.. something happens to you
in the wee small hours of the morning, when the whole wide world is fast asleep
i lie awake and think about the void and never ever think of counting sheep"
I don't know what it is about being the last one awake. The world becomes a secret place known only to me, where I observe without being observed and my mind goes off on paths of its own design.

I also watched the 2nd episode of the new miniseries pbs is doing of Emma earlier (which is when Tom fell asleep, lol.. tho he usually appreciates the witty repartee of that era). It left me wanting more, especially as there is another episode yet to be aired so it ended it at quite an intriguing place. There wasn't much on tv that would satisfy, so I turned to Netflix instant offerings. The only thing really like it I came across was 'Persuasion' which I had just watched a few days ago, and so I went searching for something new, and found '84 Charing Cross Road'. I'm on a mission to watch all great old movies possible and am glad I took the time to watch this one. It's based on a true story that became a novel, so I may have to pick that up as well. The correspondence was between a woman in NYC and a gentleman in London. The woman always wanted to go to London and said once that she watched old English movies just to see the streets. I know how she felt.

I was lucky enough to have made it there once, however I fear the week I spent in London only added to my desire to be there again. Tom and I sometimes day dream about spending a year there. Just finding some job, renting out the house and going. I am fortunate that my husband shares my love of London. Growing up in Sunny Las Vegas has made him yearn for the foggy street of London, and I adore that about him. Maybe someday we'll do it. I keep thinking that if we're going to make it happen, we should just make it happen.. but it seems as though life always has different plans for us. Something's always happening, and moving to London for a year seems a bit silly in the face of everything else. However, we continue to dream, and what is life without dreams.

Well, I'm not sure who coherent this post will be.. but it's been cathartic to purge myself of my wee hours wonderings and maybe now I'll be able to sleep.

Here's a snapshot of Tom and I over in Jolly ol' england to cap it off. Cheers.

Whine and Cheese

it's been a while.. although I'm not sure how many of you out there are still reading I apologize to those who have. It's been a busy, strange bit of time. And I think perhaps part of the reason for my delay in chronicling my thoughts has been out of a desire not to post another depressing mood piece.. I feel as though I only use this forum to whine, which will never do. (Also, I just watched two Jane Austen movies.. and I feel this may be influencing my writing style somewhat today, pray forgive me, but this is how I feel like expressing myself).

For weeks I've been tempted to write about how I feel disconnected from this pregnancy.. it's so weird, and not something you can readily discuss in polite society.. and yet I do. I feel partly in denial that this event is really taking place. After mulling over it in my mind for some time, I've come to the conclusion that at least part of it is a self-preserving act on behalf of my sub-conscious. Pregnancy is so full of anxiety, there is so much that can go wrong in 40 weeks. Sadness befalls so many, and sometime quite abruptly, with little warning. I was a complete wreck with worry while pregnant with Ainsley and I can't quite handle that right now. I think part of my brain has decided that this is the smarter course. I have one beautiful amazing daughter who I already worry about constantly.. if this one actually makes an appearance, well then, how great will be our joy. However, should tragedy strike.. perhaps I will be more prepared. You may find this to be a morose and bizarre way to view this miracle I am apart of, and I did not intend to take this point of view and yet I find it thrust upon me. So I will make the best of it, I will make preparations and have hopes, in my own in-denial kind of way. :)

Well... you see now why I have delayed in putting my thoughts on paper.. I hope they aren't too shocking. I'm hoping to blame the additional hormones coursing through my body at present for a major portion of my funk. I am having the hardest time feeling pretty. I feel old, and worn and currently getting larger in strange places. I just got a fun new hair color, but can't bring myself to take a picture of it because of my face. Maybe I'll get Tom to take a picture of me from behind. lol.

To end on a more positive note.. today I'm at 20 weeks, the halfway mark. So I have made it thus far. I will strive to have a positive attitude this week. I have good things coming this week. My birth class tonight, a fun playdate w friend the next, a baby shower for my dear friend on Thursday and then a trip to the cabin for the weekend. Could turn out to be a marvelous week. I wish you all a marvelous week.. and the chance to watch two Jane Austen movies in a row... should you wish it. :)

New Years Flash Back..

Happy New Year Peeps!
Man its been a while since I blogged. Almost a whole month. The holidays are crazy.. but we all know that. Anyway.. As I was thinking about the New Year this morning I was thinking back to the killer New Years Eve party my friend Jessica and I threw back when I was still living in Texas. I think it was probably one of the most fun New Years ever. Nowadays new years is mostly just eating junk food and watching a movie until 12, kiss and then bed, lol. Man, I feel old, lol. Anyway, I don't count the new year as one of the more exciting holidays anymore. But that year was great.. and so I went to find the couple pics I've scanned in from that pics I saw that it was New Years Eve 1999.. which means it was 10 years ago last night. 10 years! That's so crazy to me. It was a lifetime ago..

(me and my 3 besties in 1999, Anna and Emily

home from College and Jeska my roomie)

How different the world seems to me now than it did then, how much I learned, how much has happened.. So I thought I'd recap the last 10 years.. if only so I dont forget it all 10 years from now, lol.

ok, since New Years Eve 1999...

May 2000 my boyfriend finally got it together and left on his mission (he was 23, wasn't sure it would happen) I thought I'd never survive.
Having nothing left really keeping me in Texas, and a cousin who recommended USU, in Aug 2000 I packed up and drove the 940 miles (14 1/2 hrs) to Logan Utah and started a new life in a town where I knew absolutely no one.
Found a job and an apartment. Ended up with a group of girls who made everyday fun, were always there for me and changed my life. They helped me accept who I am, and teach me who I could be. Everyone needs a group like that.
The next 2-3 years I finished up my classes in psychology and loved them. Felt like I found my calling. I also had to find a new apartment due to lack of money and my girls all getting married or moving on. Stumbled into my 2nd lucky roommate chance. In Caroline I found a kindred spirit I believe I'll never lose. May 2002 missionary came home.. did not work out.. Started to re-evaluate life.. Caroline and I both made it through the rest of school together, through finals and heartaches and life changing decisions and nights of laughter and mornings of commiseration. She decided to serve a mission and I made the decision to walk away from a wonderful boy, a friend who loved me.. to marry a friend that I loved. Amazingly hard decision.. but right.
Tom and I had been friends since we met before he left for his mission in 1997 and as the years passed and I dated others it become more and more obvious that we were supposed to be together. I graduated in May of 2003 and we were married in August 2003. We bought a house in November.. felt so grown up and old. The next spring we went on the trip of a lifetime and saw London and Paris and I couldn't stop mentally berating myself for not throwing caution to the wind and going on a semester abroad to London the year my friend Anna went. An entire semester in London.. sigh.. it still makes me wistful thinking about it. Lets call that one of my biggest regret for the last 10 years.
Well for the next 3 years i mostly worked and lived life.. took some trips to cali and texas and seattle... nothing super crazy happened..
tried to get pregnant.. and tried and tried... and then october 06 I finally found out I was. :) June 07 she showed up and changed life forever.. August 07 my mil took all the sisters/sil's to NYC.. almost didn't go.. so hard to leave my lil girl for the weekend.. but did it.. awesome experience, glad I went.. had wanted to go to NY since I was in High School and had decided I wanted to be on Broadway when I grew up, lol..
June 08 we made our first move as a family when we bought a new house. Love the new neighborhood and house, but it was strangely sad to leave behind the house Ainsley was born in. Sept 08 made it back to NYC, this time with Tom and all the other married Christensen's. Spring 09 we went to hawaii!

Our first big vacation just the two of us.. we almost took Ains with us, and we missed her like crazy.. but it was fun to have some time just the two of us. And this fall/winter.. took Ains to disneyland for the first time and found out baby #2 is coming to change out life again..

wow.. after all that I feel like I've had quite a full 10 years.. I may be older.. fatter.. but at least I'm wiser.. lol.. and happier, more fulfilled.. I love my life. Along the way a lot could've happened differently, so grateful for what I have, and am looking forward to another great year.. who knows what it holds in store.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Baby names

ok, I'm totally obsessed with Baby names right now. I'm only 13 weeks and I won't find out for another month, so I should at least chill until I know what sex I'm dealing with.. but I can't stop. I look at lists of baby names constantly.

I think what started it was trying to find a name I could convince Tom to pick instead of Thomas Frank III. I started early cuz I figured I'd need all the help I could get. Well.. I think I've picked a boy name and I think he's on board, and TF III is definitely off the options, so I should be able to relax.. but I can't. It's just such a weird feeling. I knew we were going to name our first daughter Ainsley for almost 2 years before she was born. I just knew that's who she was going to be. I feel totally lost now.. like my baby is out there, floating around somewhere and I need to find out who he/she is.

I have a couple girls names I really like.. but of course Tom hates most of them. It's sad. For those of you who are interested enough to read my ramblings here's some names I've thought about..

Penelope - Tom hates it. Plus my sister has a dog named Penny.. so that would be a little weird.
Madeline - is it too I'm a little french school girl? No idea on Tom's opinion here.. probably hates it.
Sabrina - love this, hate that everyone's first thought is of the teenage witch.
Amelie - (pronounced like aww-mel-ee) A little worried about two A names in a row. Don't want to be the family that names all the kids the same first letter.
Adelaide - again with the A, plus my cousin's little girl is called Addie for short and we spend a lot of time with them.. think it would be a bit weird. Plus every time I say it I start singing Guys and Dolls "Adelaide, Adelaide.. ever lovin' Adelaide.."
Eleanor - I loved the first time we started talking about names, and Tom vetoed then.
Fiona - I like this one.. I mostly think of one of my fave moody girl musicians, but most people I talk to think Shrek.
Emery - in the running, still mulling it over.. or what tom thinks.
Tamsen - just added this to the list today.. is Tamsen Christensen too many 'en's?
I also toyed with the name Lennon for a girl for about a week before deciding it was too much.


For boys.. well.. I wasn't going to tell, because I wanted to keep it from the people who might be still mad at me for refusing to continue the TF 'dynasty', but I'll trust you that read to not spread it around and cut me some slack.

I'm pretty sure we're going with Everett Thomas Christensen. I like it a lot. I think Ainsley and Everett go together really well. It's not too common, but it doesn't sound made up. I can call him Ev Evers or even Rett (if I give a damn.. hehe) But probably mostly Everett. I think Tom likes it. His only complaint is he thinks its too long. But almost all the names I like are long. I think a name should be substantial. Short is what nicknames are for.

Although I did just read the name Aston on a list and I think that's cute too. But again with the A's (I think I'm drawn to A names in some weird way).
Aston Thomas Christensen.. sounds good too. (See, I'm trying to keep a family name in there!) Ainsley and Aston.. is that too much?

Ok all my opinionated friends, let me have it! What do you like, hate or suggest from all that? :) Other names are always welcome.. like I said. I'm obsessed. :)

Thanks!
Danielle

TV cravings

ok.. when I say that, I don't mean seeing food on TV and then craving them.. which I do, constantly. No, I've just decided that being pregnant is making me crave certain tv shows, lol. I've become addicted to TLC. I will sit and watch 'Say yes to the dress' or 'I didn't know I was pregnant' for hours on end.

And I'm not really sure why. 'Say yes to the dress' I keep picturing myself trying on dresses all fat and pregnant.. and it just depresses me. I start thinking about what style I'd want (SO dont understand the mermaid silhouette) and then I'd think.. well I'd want something flattering to my figure.. then I start to think about my figure right now... and that's when it gets depressing, lol.
Although recently I have started fantasizing about a special girls trip to NYC when Ains gets engaged and watching them treat her like a princess and find her the perfect dress I get to take care of for her. And that makes me smile. I am worried however that the show is totally skewing my ideas of money in that area. lol. I think I paid around $500 for my dress, but if anyone walks in and says they want to keep it under $2k I think 'sheesh, cheapskates.. what are you doing there??' lol. Tho, the last question is pretty valid. If you are looking for an inexpensive gown, I wouldn't go to Kleinfelds, lol.

'I didn't know I was pregnant' has been interesting. Before I was pregnant I'd watch those shows and think 'those women are crazy!! How do they not know??' But now that I'm all knocked up I have a different perspective. At first it made me feel guilty. These women go through their regular lives and don't even notice they're pregnant.. while I lay around moaning for hours at a time and take naps every day I can make it work. So for a while I stopped watching it cuz it just made me mad, lol. Today tho, I was watching it again and decided maybe that's the way to do it, lol. None of this worry and anxiety. No sickness, no painful blood draws or invasive examinations. I mean, obviously I wouldn't want the baby to have problems from no prenatal care.. so what if I just take vitamins all the time.. (i mean, they are good for you) and eat right. I don't do anything really crazy I can't do pregnant. Maybe I'd have to watch my Tuna intake.. ..oO(tuna rolls.. yumm) but how nice would it be to just one day all of a sudden, 'oh, the baby's coming!' awesome. done.

Can you tell I'm tired today? lol. 12 weeks pregnant and still getting sick.. I really hope this goes away.. anyway, I must stop blogging, there's a new 'the little couple' on. ;)